Me Cheeta: The Autobiography 
Customer Ratings: - A work of incredible empathy. I dont know who the new ghost writer is but they deserve an award for a work of incredible empathy which touches on grand themes of love,redemption,loss and loneliness through the eyes of a working chimp with an enduring love for Tarzan aka Johnny Weismuller.The other reviewers point to the many facets of this book-the humour,the scurrilous revelations about the less-than-glamorous stars of the silver screen and the casual cruelty of the movie system,discarding animals and actors alike in pursuit of box office.The book was more poignant than I expected but better for it.It has humour,gossip,malice and irreverence in spades-but most of all, it has love of the most innocent and enduring kind.
- there s no business like monkey business. In the run up to Christmas you ran the risk of being buried alive by the towering stacks of celebrity autobiographies on sale at half price in the shops. We just can t get enough of the inside track on the lives of the rich and famous (even when the term life may only refer to the ghost-written reminiscences of a twenty-year old). But where s the glamour and the romance? Enter Cheeta, film star and Guinness World Record holder as the world s oldest non-human primate (76 years and counting) who, in this satirical take on the Hollywood memoir, gives us a unique perspective on the Golden Age of cinema. I ll apologise now for the liberal use of quotation but it s just one of those books.
Plucked from millions of hopefuls in the jungles of Liberia, Cheeta (or Jiggs as he is officially documented - As is almost traditional in these cases, my name was misspelled at Immigration ) tells us first of his liberation from the jungle. This rose-tinted view makes his journey across the Atlantic in a crate a period of rehabilitation consisting of almost permanent darkness, coupled with a total lack of potentially distressing or dangerous social interaction, and strictly no exercise. With this naive perspective it is all too obvious that we are supposed to see us humans as the cruel, manipulative sadists we are. And this is before he s even reached Hollywood.
This early section is only partly successful. The reverse anthropomorphism (zoomorphism?), whereby Cheeta sees the world around him like the social hierarchies of the jungle, makes the studio bosses the seven Alphas of Hollywood and almost the whole of Western civilisation an attempt to attract the attention of some sexually receptive females . But the faux naivety is a bit too cute, even for Cheeta himself who interrupts some of his own long winded descriptions. Having dropped a few cracking judgements early on (Rex Harrison for example: an absolutely irredeemable **** who tried to murder me ) it is the searing put downs we want more of and he has plenty of them.
As a comedian himself he is uniquely placed to comment on Charlie Chaplin the Utopian dolt, satyromaniac, cradle-snatcher, self-mythologizer and (need I say it?) sentimentalist.
...the garnering of critical acclaim has never meant much to me -quite unlike the role it played in Charlie s life, which was pretty similar to the role morphine played in Bela Lugosi s, or the *CENSORED* in dear, sweet Mary Astor s, which is to say, he was hopelessly dependent upon it.
Ouch! Not just one hit but three in a single sentence. Sometimes he s subtle, I retain a loathing for two things in particular (three if you count Mickey Rooney). other times less so, If Dietrich was a good German, I thought, then the bad ones must be absolutely ****ing terrifying. But most of the time he s deliciously salacious especially with his co star the inimitable Maureen O Hara ( in reality highly imitable. I myself can do a reasonable Maureen O Hara by simply screeching as loudly as I can and flinging my excrement around ).
So, where s the romance? Well there is one human whom Cheeta admires and loves above all others of course, Johnny Weissmuller.
...this silvery-white creature on the screen was the paragon of animals, the ultimate alpha. You looked at him and thought - the rest of us? We re just beasts. If you can come up with something as beautiful as that, well, then, maybe you re right: we ought to obey you.
The evocation of their relationship is filled with warmth, affection and moments of genuine insight. The moment when they are reunited, this heroic figure now physically ruined by strokes, reduces Johnny to sobs and may well have you tearing up too. Weissmuller went through several marriages, yet may never have found a more loyal companion than his simian co-star. You find yourself filled with sympathy for this gentle giant who ended his life both broke and broken despite never really having done anything wrong. Even Cheeta has recognised earlier the simple facts of the matter:
If you re a star, Hollywood is a playground, and if you re not,they re right, it is a jungle. It s a town of heartless bottom-lines and harsh decisions and betrayals so ugly that from time to time the very earth beneath it shudders in contempt, like its teeth have been set on edge.
It is as a satire of Hollywood, and everything that word seems to mean, that this book really excels. The put-downs are often laugh out loud funny (although with the book being a little too long you find some of the same jokes returning with diminishing effect) and the persist ant rumours about the exact nature of Cheeta s relationship with Dolores del Rio will keep you guessing to the end. We read books like these because we want to know what it feels like to be famous but despite the golden hue there is something sad about the conclusions of perhaps the most famous animal alive today .
...picture a human and a chimpanzee facing each other in awkward silence, with nothing to be said, the faint inanity of the interaction stealing over both of them. That s what fame is. - Me Cheeted. The idea seemed great - it was probably a breeze to pitch it to the publisher - but I was only a few chapters in when I realised that in practice it was a joke stretched too far. I stuck with it, full of hope, but that impression didn t change. I m prepared to believe that the gossip and the scandal and the whole background is well based and well researched, but placing it all in this kind of a fantastical, satirical framework seriously undermines the reality at the expense of the over-extended joke and deprives the whole thing of any power whatever, inclding for me, I m afraid, the power to entertain.
- Satire with a Message. Cheeta, the star of eleven feature films with the best Tarzan there ever will be, Johnny Weissmuller, tells us what it was like in Hollywood during the Golden Age.
While Me Cheeta is hilariously, laugh-out-loud funny in many sequences, there is a serious message under the chuckles, he was removed from his native habitat, along with thousands of other animals over the years, for the sole purpose of entertaining humans (in a particularly frightening episode, he is almost sent to a lab). He, with tongue firmly in cheek, refers to this as being rescued, but it s left to the intelligent reader to make the distinction.
Cheeta describes partying with David Niven (or Niv, as Cheeta calls him), among many others, and has some very sharp barbs for Chaplin, Rooney and Esther Williams. The most touching passages are when he talks about his work and life with Johnny. There is great love there, and the autobiography is as much about Weissmuller as it is about Cheeta.
Another reviewer here goes on at eloquent length as to what specifically makes this book so marvelous. I would be stealing from that reviewer if I shared my thoughts. I d only like to say that the conceit of reading a book telling you what Hollywood was like as seen through the eyes of a chimp may be an odd one, but this was a treat from beginning to end. I m so glad I had the chance to read it. - Me Very Impressed!. This is that rarity, a work of genius that s also accessible in all the right ways: hilarious, touching, cutting, thought-provoking and beautifully written, breathtakingly so at times. But fear not: the romance is constantly sauced with the simian hero s outrageous, turd-slinging wise-cracks and put-downs. Cheeta speaks in a lovely blend of street wisdom and naïve poetry that makes you want to listen to him for much longer than the book lasts. And his racy, piquant subject matter is utterly intriguing!
The brilliance here lies in several layers, beginning with the very idea of a celebrity chimp telling his tale in a mind-boggling combination of natural history (Cheeta s self-awareness leads to many you ll know this from National Geographic type references) and urban jungle adventure. Add in the period glamour of Hollywood and Manhattan, amongst others, for further seduction. Then there s the constant insider scandal and sly digs at various cinematic egos: if you re looking for scurrilous iconoclasm, just seek out Rooney and Chaplin wherever they appear. The same subtlety informs the dissection of swimming star Esther Williams, done in part by having the chapter on her removed on legal advice but with frequent sarcastic sneers elsewhere and some nudging clues in the index - yes, even the index is worth reading! And watch out for the deflations of some more contemporary posturers towards the end, during Cheeta s Oscar acceptance sequence - scalpel-sharp stuff.
The heart of the book, though, is the enduring friendship with cinema s greatest Tarzan, Johnny Weissmuller, here portrayed with an ultimate poignancy that is genuinely heart-wrenching. Their earlier exploits constitute a most original romance, the bond between a bright animal and a child-like man (initially idolised but increasingly worn down and out by his fellow humans, especially his wives) very affectingly realised. It s particularly touching during their separations, when time, especially for Cheeta, becomes a blank despair completely opposite to the dreams (films) the pair create when they re together, the ape s innocence of the man s oblivion during these periods is truly poignant.
The sleazy reunion eventually orchestrated by a trashy magazine is all the more distressing in this regard. Whilst the lowest aspects of it go thankfully over the innocent heads of the pair, the once-godlike Weissmuller s decrepitude and Cheeta s desperation for his company and urge to rescue the human from exploitation tug our heart-strings in several directions and raise all sorts of thoughts about captivity, dependence and consciousness. The whole thing can be read, in fact, as a love story between man and chimp, with this book the latter s celebration of, and love-letter to, a human he sees as the best of his species and whom he worshipfully considers to be his son (ape-rescued and reared), father (jungle-king, protector) and brother (keeper and friend) - a moving and thought-provoking trinity.
It must be said, though, that the imaginative empathy of the ghost writer goes beyond anthropomorphism and achieves plausibility without liberties, emotion without sentiment: descriptions of the jungle life of infanticide and cannibalism from which his beloved humans rescue Cheeta are lyrical, realistic, violent, sad and laugh-out-loud comical. And when he reaches America it gets even better! The early escape (orchestrated by the macaques) from a Manhattan animal dealer (Cheeta thinks of it as rehab) into the exotic setting of Depression-ridden New York leads to one of the funniest sequences I ve read for ages - and Kong makes an appearance you won t forget!
This is such an original premise that you might fear for its actual fulfilment: how could anyone sustain this level of invention! But the execution is so wonderful that Cheeta becomes, and remains, completely engaging, whilst his adventures and reminiscences more than fulfil the promise of the book s concept - indeed, they transcend it. The mischievous suggestion that Cheeta has accidentally typed all this out (in the manner of those infinite Shakespearian monkeys and with appropriate Shakespeare references around the text) is typical of the sly wit at work here.
Our hero is, of course, affectionate and scathing in turns on human nature, and he tells us, in the most entertaining way, what is to be respected and despised in our behaviour, along with what we can learn from our primate cousins. Loving, forgiving and always fascinating, Cheeta s unique story gives us many deep insights into our own lives - and has us frequently weeping with laughter as he does it. This is not to diminish the beautifully-imagined primate psychology, indeed, I m amazed at how well such profound ideas as Cheeta s non-concept of death, his oblique knowledge of animal cruelty and his ultimately, well, existential take on it all sit alongside the barbs and ironies.
If you love films, animals, movie stars, gossip, satire, scandal and, above all, inspired writing, you will take this marvellous book and its innocent, wise, witty, perceptive and irreverent author straight to your heart. And this is right at the top of my gift list for the humans I care about: I can t imagine a better compliment to anyone s intelligence, sense of humour and literary taste. Absolutely fantastic!
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Me Cheeta: The Autobiography (ID: 0007278632)
